Like You - Evanescence

So, I was reading a bio on Amy Lee and how her sister died at the age of three.  Amy was six.  Can you imagine.  Having a sibling for three years.  Loving her and making memories, and then suddenly she's gone.  It would be different for a child, not less painful but more defining, at least in my opinion.  It could completely alter the person you become, to know such darkness at such a young age.  This is not something I have gone through.  I don't pretend to have one clue as to how it would feel or how it would change me.  I do however have three boys, the middle is 3 years old and the youngest just 3 months.  I can only imagine how horrible it would be for me, but for my 3 year old son, how it would effect him is beyond my imagination.  It would distroy anything good inside of me.  Just writing this is making me sick and I'm not sure why I even allow myself to think of such horrors.

It is said that Amy wrote Like You about her sister.
I suppose she has verbalized her feelings in this song. I have listened to this song time and time again, but for some reason, I have never truly listened. It's sad how much we ignore.

Click here to listen

Stay low.

Soft, dark, and dreamless,

Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.
I hate me,
For breathing without you.

I don't want to feel anymore for you.

Grieving for you,
I'm not grieving for you.
Nothing real love can't undo,
And though I may have lost my way,
All paths lead straight to you.

I long to be like you,

Lie cold in the ground like you.

Halo,

Blinding wall between us.
Melt away and leave us alone again.
The humming, haunted somewhere out there.
I believe our love can see us through in death.

I long to be like you,
Lie cold in the ground like you.
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,
I'm coming for you.

You're not alone,

No matter what they told you, you're not alone.

I'll be right beside you forevermore.

I long to be like you, sis,

Lie cold in the ground like you did.

There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you.

And as we lay in silent bliss,

I know you remember me.

I long to be like you,
Lie cold in the ground like you.

There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,

I'm coming for you.

 (These Lyrics may not be exactly correct, depending on how it is sung, but should be close)

Turning blue

Let me make this first point clear. I adore my father, now. He has become a wonderful man who is always there for me. When I was young… not so much.


I remember hiding behind our ragged house. I had crawled clear under this huge bush and curled my 9 year old body into the smallest ball possible. I could hear him calling for me. I was terrified. I don’t remember what I had done, but I remember how hard my heart was pounding. So loud I thought for sure they would hear it. Even scarier than my father, my grandfather was also looking for me. He came so close. I could see his lower half. Those blue overalls he always wore. I think I squeezed my eyes closed thinking if I can’t see him, he’ll be less likely to see me. I stayed there for hours. And when the coast was clear I booked it up the hill to my favorite hiding place. Dad found me there and was amazingly calm. It was one of his better days. I’m in that place right now in my life, curled up tightly under a bush, just beyond the reach of my fears. If I close my eyes and hold my breath, maybe the situation will get better. Funny how we really don’t change that much from our childhood selves, we just think we do.

Sad Twilight song - click to listen

Possibility - Lykke Li

You know, it's the one where she's sitting, looking out the window.

Recommended read: The Glass Castle

I loved this book. It is a memoir about a girl and her hardships while growing up. It's dark but not depressing. And the author does not pity herself in any way that I can tell. I loved it. It took me out of my world. It told a story of a life that was extremely difficult, more so than my own, but one where the girl overcomes brilliantly. Enjoy.

Alice in Wonderland - I can't wait!

I am oh so excited about the 2010 version of Alice in Wonderland.  Set to release March 5th. 

trailer

Sally's Song

You know how it is.  You're in a mood and you come across a song that just fits.  And you listen, over and over.  You let it take you to a different place.  One that matches your day.  Sallys Song from The Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack is my song for today.  Sad and lovely.  Click below and enjoy.

Sally's Song